Not Much Longer Now
by Quill of Thoughts
Summary: Mistoffelees isn't feeling so good, and he's decided to write a song to say the things he's always wanted to. Oneshot. It's a quick read. Songfic. Based off of RENT's "One Song Glory".


**A/N: Hi faithful readers of mine and new readers. I've had this song on my mind for the past few days, and I just had to write a fic about it. This one's featuring Mistoffelees, like most of my stories. Sad premise, sad fic, yet it's a sad song. So, I won't prolong the story any longer other than to say the song is "One Song Glory" from RENT (I'm listening to the 1996 OBC recording) or Cats. Though I really would like to own it. That's all. Read, review and all that jazz.**

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I doubled over in my den, trembling. I was dying. Why I was though, I had no clue. All I knew was that I was dying and I just found out I had been since before the last Jellicle ball when Grizabella had gone to Heavyside. I had been able to hide it for a while from everyone, including my own queen-friend. She didn't deserve to know that I wasn't even going to see our child born or even the next Jellicle ball. Yes, we were going to have a child together, yet I wouldn't even be able to see him grow up.

My humans took me to the vet when they realized I wasn't doing so good. The vet called it cancer. I figured instead it was my magic turning against me. Magic never really reacted well with Jellicles. It turned Macavity insane, and Coricopat and Tantomile could barely function when they weren't within two meters of each other. I guess it was always my lot in life to die from my magic. I only wish I had more than

_One Song_

_Glory_

_One Song_

_Before I go_

_Glory_

_One Song to leave behind_

Even Tugger had more than one song to be remembered by. I only had one song, and I didn't even get to sing it at all. I doubt I'll be able to sing any songs soon enough. I pulled out an old guitar that I had stashed in the back of my den that I usually used when I needed to order my thoughts out. I just need to

_Find One Song _

_One last refrain _

_Glory _

_From the pretty boy front man _

Who wasted opportunity

I wrote a few notes down on a spare bit of paper. I thought back to Jemi and the tin cup I gave her during my song. Why didn't I give her flowers instead? All queens liked flowers. I loved her. She wasn't only infatuated by my connection to Tugger. Not to mention she was the only one who didn't only care about my magic act. Just with that

_One Song _

_I had the world at my feet _

_Glory _

_In the eyes of a young girl _

_A young girl _

_Find Glory _

_Beyond the cheap colored lights_

Why didn't I just tell her then that I wanted to be her mate, truly, rather than just sleeping with her? I should have done that, yet now…now it just wouldn't be right. I couldn't just let her know that I loved her, yet then just die. When I slept with her though, I just thought I just had a cold then. Now, she's going to be a mom without me. I looked out of the den, vaguely wondering if I would be able to last the night when I started wretching in the corner. As it was before sunset, I was hoping to find

_One Song _

_Before the sun sets _

_Glory - on another empty life _

_Time flies_

_Time dies_

_Glory - one blaze of Glory _

One blaze of Glory - Glory

This song I was writing needed to be _me_. Not like the one that tells about me that Tugger sings for the Jellicle ball. That one wasn't anything like me. That was about the persona I always seemed to have onstage. Of course I would be able to play any trick with cards, dice or trinkets onstage. In real life though, I couldn't. This song needed to show my true self other than the side of me that was the magic act. This song needed to help me

_Find _

_Glory _

_In a song that rings true _

_Truth like a blazing fire _

_An eternal flame_

This song needed to tell Jemima what I couldn't in actuality. I wasn't going to last much longer, yet I still wanted to tell her how much I loved her. Tell her how much I loved her smile, and how she always seemed to be nice to everyone she met. I'd probably end up baring my soul to the world to

_Find _

_One Song _

_A Song about love _

_Glory _

_From the soul of a young man _

_A young man_

I just needed a few more hours, yet I felt like I was fading. Not that I was just too tired or exhausted, yet I felt like I was dying. It wouldn't be long before my magic kills me and the Everlasting Cat takes me to the Heavyside Layer. If only I had more time. I just needed to

_Find _

_The One Song _

_Before the virus takes hold _

_Glory _

_Like a sunset _

_One Song _

_To redeem this empty life _

I glanced out the den door and saw that it was already well past midnight. I couldn't believe that. No, no, NO! There had to be more time! I hadn't thought so much time had passed. My song was nearly finished, though, and I would be taken to Heavyside. The Everlasting Cat was probably already waiting for me to finish my song. I would set it out of door when it was done, that way Jemima would be able to find it. Oh, how

_Time flies _

_And then - no need to endure anymore _

_Time dies_

I penned the last note, and I took a deep breath. My song was finished, yet how I wished I could stay on this earth a little bit longer. I quickly wrote out a small note to Jemima, explaining as much as I could. Maybe I'll be reborn as a normal cat next time. Bast, I hope so. I don't think I could bear the strangeness of magic again. As I tied the pages together with shaking paws with a bit of string I had laying down in my den, I carefully set the pages outside my den and I crawled back to the small bed in my room. Collapsing against the bed, I finally allowed myself to be taken by the Everlasting Cat. "I'll miss you Jemi," I whispered feebly before closing my eyes.


End file.
